who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
