He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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