Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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