in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
