My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
