On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
