Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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