tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
