theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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