Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The air was thick with penises
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
