Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
