yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
