Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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