I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize