toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
