did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
