now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
