Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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