Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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