you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
