your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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