Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
