apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
