your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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