you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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