Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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