I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
