im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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