Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize