Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
