its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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