I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
