I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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