The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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