Will you blow on my dice?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
