does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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