well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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