I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
