Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
