OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
