Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
