Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
