I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
