i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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