there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
