I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
