He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
