we have officially lost it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
