I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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