im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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