i just made my gag reflex go away.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
