Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
