DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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