He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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