Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
