dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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