Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
